Thursday, June 2, 2016

Paula’s Ponderings, May 2016: TWO WEEKS…




Two weeks in the past…

Two weeks – to finish our school semester and turn in grades, update and turn over all our files and documents and to inventory equipment.

Two weeks – to pack up the house, decide what to squeeze into our bags and what to leave behind and how to distribute it, to make lists of furniture and other household goods left behind.

Two weeks – of trying to grasp the sudden changes in our lives and ministry, of crying and beginning to grieve the loss we were feeling. There were no good-byes. We simply packed our bags and quietly slipped away…

Two weeks in the present…

Grandpa and Eli catching up...
Two weeks – since arriving back in our “home country”, including a short stopover to see the most adorable grandson ever! Two weeks to begin to process the changes and losses. Two weeks of divided souls and feelings as we catch up with family and friends and mourn those left behind.

Two weeks – of what-ifs: what if we had said something different, or re-acted differently? What if our pleas for help had not gone unnoticed and unanswered? What if we had known or had a better grasp of thoughts and feelings?

Two weeks – of wondering where we will go, what we will do and what the future holds. Two weeks of trying to understand the inevitable changes coming our way. Two weeks of accepting our current reality: we are in our 50’s, unemployed, and living with my parents.

Two weeks ahead of us…

Two weeks – of debriefing, retreat, meditation and, hopefully, beginning to heal. Two weeks – of continuing to hold on to each other.

Two weeks – of continuing to cling to His words and pray His promises and desperately trying to remember that He loves us, He knows us, He is in control, and He has plan.