When
we were kids, a missionary uncle had one of the big reel-to-reel film projectors
and every year around Christmas would show “A Christmas Carol”. That was my
first introduction to Ebenezer Scrooge and the ghosts of Christmases past,
present and future. That film came to mind as I was thinking about Christmas
being just two weeks away…
Christmases
past are easy: Anxiously waiting to open the presents under the tree –
especially the year I got my first Barbie doll! Gatherings at grandparents’
homes with uncles, aunts and cousins and more food than we could possibly eat! There
was the wonder of having our first baby just before Christmas and identifying
with the Lord’s young parents and being overwhelmed with all the love and joy. I
loved celebrating Christmas when our sons were young – their first Christmas
programs, the excitement at seeing them open their gifts, and as they grew
older watching favorite shows and being together. As an adult I love the music
and the decorations; the tradition of jigsaw puzzles with my Mom; hearing my
Dad read the Christmas story; and time to sit, relax, visit and especially laugh with
family.
I
don’t think much about Christmas future. I do vaguely wonder what Christmas
will be like in heaven…
It is
Christmas present that bothers me. I have decided that this year Christmas
present = Christmas absent. Lights are up and Christmas programs are being
presented. We are absent. Parents and siblings will gather for time together.
We will be absent. For the first time in several years our kids will be
together for Christmas. We will be absent. Every time I open my computer these
days, I see the adorable smiling face and big blue eyes of our grandson, Eli. This
will be his first Christmas. We will be absent.
Phil
insisted we decorate, so we have a small tree. But the presents are absent. Thanks
to a thoughtful LINKS church, we got some new Christmas albums and have been
dutifully playing them… But the caroling is absent. Because we are south of the
equator, it is summer here. Cold, wintery weather is absent. Even the
ingredients to some of my favorite Christmas treats are absent…
Christmas
seems absent. And I’m not sure what to do with that… So I once again turned to
His Word. I re-read the prophecies and the accounts of His birth and take
solace in re-affirming and knowing that just when He was needed, He appeared.
And I wait – admittedly with tears
running down my cheeks – for the sense of His Presence, knowing that just when
I am at my lowest and He is needed the most, He will not be absent.
…and
they will call him Immanuel, which means “God is with us”.
– Matthew 1:23
My heart hurts for all your "absences." I pray that the Lord will give you a new sense of His presence, purpose and a song in your heart. I do appreciate your service. Cindy
ReplyDeleteThis is painfully, poetically beautiful. Thank you for linking with Velvet Ashes ... we get it. I'll be thinking of you, in your presence/absence paradox!
ReplyDeleteI am praying that this Christmas will be specially special for you - that He will show up for you so completely. In all the years that we've celebrated Christmas overseas, (minus close relatives, but not without our children) I seem to not be able to get into "the Christmas spirit" until Christmas day - and THEN it comes. I don't know if your experience will be like mine, but I pray - and I believe - that this Christmas present=Christmas absent will One Day be for you like a sweet, precious gift under the Christmas future...tree. You know the one.
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