Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Paula's Ponderings - Outside My Gate

The morning does not start off well – I had trouble going to sleep, so have to drag myself out of bed…
I can’t decide what to wear…
I get things together to take to school: water bottles (frozen and cold), a Coke Zero for Phil, some leftover chicken for our lunch, computer and charger, clean towels for the restrooms, a canister of sugar for the students’ kitchen, and I must be forgetting something…
I’m running out of time, so I grab my travel mug and fill it with coffee…
Time to head out the door: Outside lights on, inside lights off, water pump off, door locked, gate locked…
Driveway gates – two sets – opened…
Driveway gates – two sets – closed… No, wait, the one where the welds have broken at the hinges won’t line up to close so that I can lock it. Phil comes to my rescue after backing the truck out of the driveway…
Hurried. Harried. Frustrated.
Then I see her…
So thin. Legs like toothpicks. A baby bundled on her back. A hoe in her hands.
Receiving instructions for chopping up the grass and weeds in front of the house across the street.
She doesn’t look like she could possibly have the energy to do that kind of hard work. In the hot sun. With a baby on her back.
And I feel shame for complaining when I am so blessed.
Remorse for thinking my life is hard.
Compassion for someone who has so little.
I rummage around in my bags for my purse.
Bom dia, Mãe”, I say. (Good morning, Mother.)
She turns around. I place a couple of bills in her hand.
 “Buy some food, something to eat”. And I gesture eating with my hand.
She looks at me. Uncomprehending. A questioning look on her face.
Then she understands. Claps her hands enthusiastically. And says thank you. Over and over again.

As we drive way, she smiles and waves. And we smile and wave back. And whisper a prayer.

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